FRIENDS are something that we have the luxury of choosing to a certain degree. We are confined to the people we come in contact with, but we still get to choose. FAMILY, on the other hand, we are stuck with. We do not get to choose our family. We're born into it and that is what we have to work with. When we marry, we get to add family. But still it's not always the family we chose. God has blessed me with a fantastic family. A family that has always been a lighthouse in the storm. Unfortunately, many people are left to deal with family that thrives on dysfunction. The family who is more like cardboard in a hurricane will definitely affect the way we handle pain.
Some people disown their family because of incidents that have occurred. Some people ignore their family because they are embarrassing or stumbling blocks. But they are still our family. They still will effect us even if we ignore them. The lack or absence of family or family strength makes coping with the stress and fear of pain untenable.
In the process of dealing with pain and suffering, FAMILY plays a crucial role. People who deal with pain need emotional support. The support we get can lighten the burden in this warfare of the mind. There is just no substitute for family to provide support. We need a strong foundation to stand on when the gales of pain blow. When that foundation is missing, or even worse becomes more like quicksand, then the task of dealing with pain is made all the more difficult.
Pain, both physical and emotional, requires us to fight a battle in our mind. The way we perceive pain makes all the difference. Some people perceive their pain as a 10 out of 10 and yet they're able to sit comfortably in the chair and describe it. They seem to magnify even the mildest painful situation. But another person may be writhing in obvious pain and describe that pain as a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10. That is one of the problems of dealing with pain. Because pain is so heavily overlaid by psychological issues it is impossible to objectively quantify. When we try to battle pain alone, if our mind is strong, we are able to fight well. But if our mind is weakened, either by the pain or by others in our lives, our battle is lost.
This is where family comes in. They know us better than anyone else in most cases. They are with us as we walk through our journey. Sometimes they are great support. But sometimes not so much. Pain becomes less of "suffering" when we have great family support. Far too many people are left to suffer because their family takes more than they give.
You are family to someone! Understand the opportunity you have to be the family member that is a mighty foundation. Take the time to understand what is causing pain and what you can do to be a powerful support. Sometimes just being there to hold a loved one is enough to empower their will. Sometimes just being an ear to hear what plagues their heart will free their heart to breathe. You can be the strength someone longs for when they are broken to pieces and thrown on the rocks. Sometimes a tiny thing can make a massive difference!
If you ask me: “Give me an example of beauty, simple everyday beauty, with which we can help others feel better and be happier,” two things come to my mind. A smile, and a sense of humor.” —Pope Francis
Comments